'Words of Ribbon' has gone Bipolar!

Ribbon's got a lot of crazy thoughts in her head. I look at the rising crime, social problems and the injustice along with the natural disasters and try not to get to stressed. I still want to relax. I still want to poke fun at the lighter stuff. Afterall, stress will kill you - quickly too.

So there is an incident where someone was 'allegedly' caught smuggling drugs and a cellular phone to someone on lockdown. Ribbon started her crazy thinking and said to herself, 'hmmmm, don't bring me drugs or a phone, bring some rope, sleeping gas, a gas mask and a helicopter so I can get out of here'. I know I am so wrong to think that way but I guess I'm just to idle right now.

I look at all the would-be politicians. Some are calling names already. There's talk of who is 'damaged goods'. We are all damaged goods but if I guess it's all up to perception.

I look at more money going to the 'rest and relaxation' industry. However, I think we need to take care of the 'icky business' in the capital before we advertise for more visitors, unless we are going to hold the visitors on the sister islands.

There has much development in the capital and I think these new developments are part of the reason for the worsening 'icky business'. I have no Masters Degree or PHD like some people who can't write a sentence properly do, but common sense should prevail.

I will stop now before I get in hot or cold water.

ribbon

Six Reasons Why Landlords and Tenants Disagree or Fall Out

Landlords and tenants can live harmoniously. However, several factors, including maintenance and unreasonable behavior, can cause them to disagree.

Securing a safe and affordable place to live is sometimes difficult. Rent typically is the largest expense that families face. For persons who are landlords, rent is also a source of income. When the landlord and the tenant have a good and understanding relationship, small issues and problems can be resolved. However, there are times that the relationship can become tumultuous and either party may have to break the lease or seek legal advice. Some reasons that tenants and landlords may disagree include the payment of rent, premature breaking of the lease, the utility bills and constant maintenance issues. Unbearable behavior by either party may also cause problems with the landlord and tenant.

Payment of Rent

 Most landlords have a lease or they would orally state the terms for the rent payment. There is also a grace period for the payment to be made without penalties being incurred. The fastest way to get evicted from an apartment is to not pay the rent or consistently pay the rent late, that is, after the stated grace period. On the other hand, tenants have to be cautious of landlords who may ask for the rent early. They must also be wary of landlords who pretend to forget that the rent was paid. Always collect your receipts when payment is made since such unscrupulous persons may try to defraud a tenant.

Breaking the Lease

A lease is a contract, and breaking it prematurely can cause difficulty for both landlord and tenant. A

tenant who is evicted or asked to leave for any other reason has the task of finding another apartment within the same area, comfort and price. In some countries, this is very difficult. When a tenant breaks a lease prematurely, the landlord has the difficulty of getting the apartment ready and costs of re- dvertising it and screening new tenants. This means that the apartment sits empty, which means no income and a broken relationship between the landlord and tenant.

Payment of Utility Bills

In the British Virgin Islands, some landlords include the basic utilities of water and electricity in the rent. Some require tenants to pay the utility bills separately, but the bill remains in the landlord's name. In some cases, tenants are asked by landlords to register the utilities themselves, therefore making the payment. In any case, if a tenant forfeits on the utilities, this affects the landlord who will have to clear those bills if this tenant leaves without paying them. If the landlord is responsible for the bills and he or she is late with the payment, a tenant could find herself in the dark or without water or gas, which is reason for disagreement.

Constant Maintenance Mishaps

Lack of maintenance is definitely hard for a tenant to live peacefully with. It may be a broken faucet, a noisy toilet or a backed-up tub. It can get as bad as a broken window during the winter. If a landlord does not handle problems in a reasonable amount of time, the tenant will get frustrated and may be living in unsanitary and unsecure conditions for a long time.

Renovations

A landlord may opt to perform extreme renovations while the tenant is still living in the apartment. Extreme renovations include changing windows and doors that require larger frames and changing tubs and other bathroom fixtures. This not only inconveniences the tenant but puts them at risk for their health and security because there may be strange contractors in their home. I was living in an apartment, and the landlord conducted some major renovations while I was there. The result was a constantly messy and unsecure apartment and my eventual eviction for sharing my  concerns about the lack of professionalism by the contractors handling the renovations.

Unreasonable Behavior

A landlord and tenant may end their relationship when there is constant unreasonable behavior by either party. Excessive noise, incidences of domestic violence, sexual advances and gossip can be reasons for either party to come to contention. Landlords may enter their tenant's home without the tenant's consent or without the tenant being present in the cases where there may be flooding, fire or another plausible reason. However, landlords who enter their tenant's home just out of curiosity are invading their tenant's privacy. When tenants realize that their home is being searched, this is a sure source for contention with the landlord.

A tenant and landlord should have a good understanding and be able to solve problems in an efficient manner. However, there are times when they disagree because on non- payment of rent, renovations or unreasonable behavior by either party. It is hoped that such disagreements can be solved before the tenant is evicted or breaks the lease, or worse, either party heads to litigation. 

For those encouraged by the Royal Wedding: What to Consider When Asked to Be a Bridesmaid in a Wedding

Being a bridesmaid comes with certain responsibilities. A woman should think about how best she can contribute to the wedding even if it means declining.

Women who want to have a dream wedding always want a large bridal party which includes bridesmaids. Many women who are asked to be a bridesmaid see the request as an honor. On the other hand, other ladies see it as a burden. So what factors should women weigh when they are asked to be bridesmaids? While the wedding is all about the bride, bridesmaids do play an important role. Females should think about their relationship with the pending bride, the costs involved and their areas of specialty. They should also decide if their contribution to the wedding is best as a guest or instead as a facilitator.

 

Bridesmaids Have Tasks for the Wedding

A bride expects that her bridesmaids will work their hardest to make the wedding a success. They not only have to look the part by wearing the dress, hairstyle, makeup, shoes and accessories she chooses, they must be willing to execute other tasks. Bridesmaids may have to host the bridal shower and create the wedding favors as well as provide a support system for the bride.

Who is the Bride-to-be

Is the pending bride a family member, a best friend from high school, a college roomate or someone recently acquainted through Facebook? The tasks listed above can become overwhelming if the bride is late in planning the wedding. Ladies should agree to be bridesmaids because they love and value the bride and they want to make the wedding a memorable event by working hard.

How Much is Being a Bridesmaid Going to Cost

Being a bridesmaid can be costly if the dress, shoes, accessories and hairstyle have to be paid for from personal funds. These costs can sometimes run well over $200.00. A woman would have to look at her personal budget to decide if she can afford to pay for the bridesmaid items and still purchase a gift. Nancy Tessier in "The (High) Cost of Being a Bridesmaid" on the Favor Ideas website also notes that women "may need to get a sitter for the day" for their children because children are not necessarily invited. Having to contribute to the bridal shower will also be another expense to add to the list of costs.

Be a Bridesmaid, a Wedding Guest or a Nuptial Facilitator

Considering the requested tasks, the costs and the relationship with the bride, a lady can decline being a bridesmaid and instead attend the wedding as a guest while purchasing a nice gift. In addition, if the woman feels that her contribution would be more meaningful as an usher, booklet or invitation designer, cook, make-up artist or another facilitator, she should be open with the bride and offer her assistance.

When asked to be a bridesmaid in a wedding, a lady should carefully consider the tasks ahead and decide what contribution she is willing to make to the bride. Sometimes, it is better to sit as a guest or to facilitate the wedding party in other ways to make the wedding day a grand success. If she chooses to be a bridesmaid, she must be ready to work hard and late to keep the bride happy.

Is Your Difficulty So Hard That You Can't Overcome

Troubling times are around and before us. We are all facing difficulties. A lot of the difficulties have been caused by the people who are our leaders. Some of the difficulties we have caused for ourselves. There are also natural disasters that are a result of climate change - again our leaders and us not being good environmental stewards.

So with the difficulties, should we remain down-trodden, depressed, broke and broken? Humans are innovative. We are survivors. While everything may seem to fall apart, we can pray and take initiative to improve our situation. Our God is powerful and he gives us much guidance and insight to overcome our struggles. Think positive and do positive. We will feel down for the moment and for a time but whether you lost a loved one or you are broke, you must go on. You must seek a realistic resolution to your problems.

When I had $10,000 of credit card debt, I devised a plan and got it paid off while remaining in good standing with the company. I never paid a late fee and my APR was always under 10%. Of course, I switched that balance around between several companies to get the best APR and I paid more than the mininum balance. My debt also was for needed things so I had a method for my madness. Don't follow in my footsteps, I adapt and I try to survive in slim times. I stopped caring about who has this and that a long time ago.

If you are not compelled by my real life example, then look in your bible, read a newspaper or turn on the TV to hear about so many others who have risen from obstacles. What your facing is not worse than the average person around you. Think of the hungry children and those who have lost so many friends and loved ones in Japan and Haiti. Be real because only with God's guidance can you dig yourself our of your hole.

ribbon

POEM: Open Wide

intense
inspiring
haunting
are your words
they entrance me
as all my senses
open wide
to accept your
chain of thought
no one else can express
like you do
because
you are
beyond brilliant
magnificent
and consistent
a poet

© Linette Rabsatt

ribbon

Making Decisions - careful yet spontaneous

I am a skeptic. I take time when making decisions. On the other hand, I am open to trying new things, especially when it matches my goals.

I've tried some new products but I do get turned off when they don't meet my expectations. I don't like personal sales so selling products is not my thing. I'm into marketing and customer service so I can give you ideas to increase your customers and to improve their experience. I'll try new foods but I don't eat meat so that does not cover much.

I've tried Shoe Goo to glue my shoes and I am happy with that. I've tried Dr. Miracle's Temple & Nape Gro Balm - 4 oz and that has been helping me get some new growth on my temple. I have even tried Avon Naturals Shampoo Almond and Avocado Moisturizing Dry Damaged Hair and I find it works with my kinky hair. I've been showing my afro these days so I need the extra moisturizer.


I usually try new foods according to what's happening at my job. So if we host a tasting or if a farmer brings a sample to me, I try it. So far, the two foods, I don't like are mustard greens and bitter gourd because they are both bitter. I'm a sweet chick like what I said in Confessions of a Chocolate-aholic who also loves cheesecake.

Writing for Suite101 was definitely a new thing for me especially being one of their few Caribbean based writer and the first Virgin Islander to be on the site. I like blogging and I find it works for me. I don't have much friends who blog but I encourage them too.

Call me a skeptic or call me careful but I like things that I think can work for me. I am spontaneous for what I want to be for yet I think I am careful for what's important.

ribbon

Why Do Married Men Cheat? Hear it from a cheater

Why Married Men Cheat

Gerald Sugar is a good-looking, goal oriented, talented and independent 30-year-old man who is sure to have many admirers. He is also married for under three years and always seems to speak of his wife positively. According to him, their relationship is going well.

Why an Affair?

So why would he have an affair? When Gerald was asked if he loved his wife, the immediate answer was yes but his answer was also in the affirmative when asked if he had an alternate relationship. According to Don-David Lusterman, PhD, a marriage and family therapist and author of Infidelity: A Survival Guide (New Harbinger Publications, Inc 1998), "Infidelity occurs when one member of a couple secretly violates the commitment to monogamy." 

When asked about the time he spends with the other woman, Gerald replies, "I am happy in a place that feels secure, loved and I feel like I don't want to leave the place I was meant to be," which according to Lusterman's definition, constitutes infidelity. He states that he does not love the other woman but he likes spending time with her. He says that since he has been married, he has had two other affairs in which there was sex, but he will always love his wife and that her needs come first.

On the Way to Divorce?

In the Virgin Islands, the divorce rates are rising. According to the Development Planning Unit (DPU) of the Government of the Virgin Islands, statistics from High Court Registry of the Supreme Court of the Virgin Islands show that the number of divorces have increased over a three year period from 53 in 2005, 78 in 2006 to 99 in 2007. While the numbers may seem small, the territories population is approximately 28,882 persons as of 2009 as shared by DPU. While information was not available to share on the causes of the divorces because of confidentiality constraints, it is pertinent to note the increases. 

Could Gerald also be on his way to a divorce? He said that after meeting his "friend" that he was attracted to her. After beginning a friendship with the lady, he started to develop feelings for her. He also noticed that he wanted to be close to her and also intimate with her. Despite these feelings, he is adamant that his marriage is fine. So why step out? When asked if he could be satisfied by one woman, he said no. Gerald also said that the cheating was not about sex or boredom and that maybe he has become greedy.

Faithfulness in courting and marriage has decreased and even as we look at the icons around us, Tiger Woods, as a best example, fell prey to other women and jeopardized his marriage. According to marriage counselor M. Gary Neuman in his article titled "Why Men Cheat" on Oprah.com, some men cheat because of an emotional disconnection or a lack of attention or appreciation at home. Gerald

did note that his wife is quite often preoccupied with other things and this may be the core reason that he has stepped into the arms of another woman who obviously has made him feel secured and loved. 

Deny the Other Relationship

Only his wife could express her true thoughts on the matter. Of course, such an interview would not have ended well because he has not admitted to any wrongdoing. He says that he will always deny any infidelity even if she has strong evidence and information which may prove that he is cheating on her.

Can He Stop the Affair?

While Gerald feels that his wife and himself are not compatible and that he cannot be satisfied by one woman, he somehow thinks that more communication, having children and better relations would improve his chances of being faithful. He admits that he spends a lot of time out with his male friends hanging out and maybe less of that behavior would aid him in being more committed to his wife.

According to WebMD's feature article on "Our Cheatin' Hearts -Men and Monogamy: Fighting the Urge to Have an Extramarital Affair" written by Sean Elder, he quotes Steven Nock, PhD, a professor of sociology at the University of Virginia who states that boredom increases the likelihood of a married person seeing the benefits in their marriage. While Gerald is adamant that he is not bored and sex is not a problem at home, he still craves the attention of another woman so there must be other underlying factors that cause him to commit adultery. 

Gerald may need to seek counseling from a licensed practitioner or from a religious figure to assist him with his infidelity issues but this will only work if he really wants to be faithful - which he clearly states that he is not ready for. His only reason for changing this bad habit may be if the other woman dumps him and he will surely find someone else to keep him cheating. Since he says he feels secure, loved and happy with the side relationship and will obviously deny if he gets caught in the act, this cheater will continue with both relationships.

Note: Name of the interviewee has been changed to protect his privacy.

Ribbon's Thoughts on a 'Holy' Thursday

It's not how you look to others. It's not how you are percieved by others. It's how you live with others and how you feel about yourself.

Don't let anyone be a stumbling block in your life. RISE! RISE! RISE! Have faith, get focused and pray. Take positive advice and run with it.

Love yourself. Feel good within your skin. Take care of yourself, not just with a hairdresser trip but with a massage, healthy eating and exercise.

Take care of your finances. Live within your means and this may really mean not taking that trip to the hairdresser and putting on that wig or piece or your own afro!

Take time for reflection and meditiation. Don't let anyone rush you into a hard decision unless there is an emergency. THINK! THINK! THINK! ...wisely, of course...

Be yourself and if you are grumpy, find something that can lighten that mood. Don't throw it on the rest of us. Or just tell us you are not in the best mood and to give you some space.

Find your spiritual center. Find your place of worship - however you do it, wherever you do it - praise God!

ribbon

POEM: A New Definition by Linette Rabsatt

Confessions of a Chocolate-aholic who also loves cheesecake

I love chocolate. I also love cheesecake but Hersheys, Snickers, Cadbury and M&Ms are my fix. Whether it's time of the month or a long day, chocolate makes me happy. I can remember eating one-half of the large St. Thomas Dairies chocolate icecream when I was pregnant with my daughter. It's funny because I still wonder why she was 7.5lbs.

Sweets are my weakness and it's something that I need to monitor because I come from a family who suffers diabetes and high blood pressure. I need to keep active and drink fluids to wash away these sweets.

I am also not ashamed to say that I don't like sharing my sweets. Call me 'selfish' but I love to sit and enjoy chocolate without having to break one piece or give away one M&M. As I write this blog post, I am enjoying a Cadbury Whole Nut. My inspiration comes from the simple things of life - a nice chocolate bar or a slice of 'good' cheesecake.

I don't need to eat the Dark Forest type chocolate cake unless I am really peevish. A nice tirumisu is good if you can get a nice piece. Don't get me wrong - I do love my local gooseberry or tamarind stew, a good piece of tart or a good vienna cake.

Chocolate just does something different and special for me. It is relaxing and perfectly sweet yet it makes me smile. I just love it!

ribbon

Reggae Artists Collaborations in Hip Hop, R&B and Pop

Reggae artists have worked with artists such as Mick Jagger, Beyonce, No Doubt and Janet Jackson in collaborations to produce chart topping songs.

Reggae music and its artists are versatile and have proven this by collaborating in songs with artists from other genres. Artists such as Peter Tosh, Shabba Ranks and Baby Cham among others have worked with R&B, Hip Hop and Pop artists to produce songs that are loved internationally.

Big Hits Featuring Reggae Artists

The list of reggae artists who have teamed with artists from other genres to write and sing would be very long. The following songs are well-loved and include classics from Peter Tosh, Patra and Shabba Ranks as well as more recent music from John Legend and Sean Paul.

• Peter Tosh and Mick Jagger: "(You Got to Walk And) Don't Look Back" is a reggae song about moving forward from bad relationships. "(You Got to Walk And) Don't Look Back" came from Tosh's 1978 album, Bush Doctor. Both of these powerful artists sang in the chorus, "so if you just put your hands in mine/ we're gonna leave all our troubles behind/ you got to walk and don't look back".
• Patra and YoYo: Patra and Yoyo sang "Romantic Call" from Patra's 1993 Queen of the Pack. Patra sings in the chorus "I'm on a romantic call, talking to my baby down a mi yard" and other lyrics include "phone call loving help when you feel lonely/ him can tell you things make you feel sexy". "Take your hands and wrap them round my waist/ cause I know that you can't wait" chants YoYo in her rap. There was a cameo of Tupac Shakur in the music video for "Romantic Call".
• Shabba Ranks and KRS-One: "The Jam" by Shabba Ranks featuring KRS-One was released on Shabba's As Raw As Ever album in 1991. KRS-One is known for his lyrical flow and had lyrics like "taking titles/ breaking idols/ the lyrics I chant in your head are like vitals" and "Boogey Down Productions specialize in classics/ cause all the others specialize in plastics" in "The Jam".
• John Legend and Buju Banton: John Legend's "Can't Be My Lover" comes from the No Other Love / Can't Be My Lover - Cool Breeze Mixes album released in 2009. "I got my bird in the eye why chase one in the sky" chants Buju Banton as Legend sings "over and over, over again... I tried to tell her no. no, no, I already have a friend".
• Baby Cham and Alicia Keys:  Baby Cham released "Ghetto Story" with Alicia Keys in 2006 on his album with the same title, Ghetto Story. Alicia chants in the song, "I remember the days when I went to bed hungry/ all I ever ate was white rice and honey". Some of Baby Cham's lyrics are "…when me and momma bed was a big piece of foam/ and me never like bathe and my hair never comb".
• Damien 'Jr. Gong' Marley and Bobby Brown: "Beautiful" is a sultry song by Damien 'Jr. Gong' Marley featuring Bobby Brown of New Edition. Coming from Marley's 2005 Welcome To Jamrock, "Beautiful" is a dedication to a lovely lady of good character. "She's the only queen the king is designating" and "she don't have no scratches only beauty spots" are some of Marley's lyrics.
• Barrington Levy and Shyne:  Barrington Levy was featured on two songs from Shyne's 2000 self-titled album, "Bonnie and Shyne" and "Bad Boy". In both songs, Levy adds his flavor and he was featured in both music videos.

Collaborations with Beenie Man

Beenie is considered one of the most popular reggae artists. He has collaborated with other reggae artists and also with Janet Jackson and Mya.

• "Girls Dem Sugar": Beenie Man's Art & Life album in 2000 carried a special song, "Girls Dem Sugar" featuring the songstress Mya. Beenie Man had already coined the phrase "girls dem sugar" in "Who Am I" from his 1997 album, Many Moods of Moses.
• "Feel It Boy": "Feel It Boy" came from Beenie Man's 2002 Tropical Storm. Janet sings the hook and Beenie Man tells the story in his chant. He starts the song off with "whenever I got no money/ she's still my honey" and Janet sings in part of the chorus "let's forget everything and everybody/ let's just have a party, me and you".

Reggae Collaborations with No Doubt

No Doubt featuring Gwen Stefani collaborated with Bounty Killer and Lady Saw on their 2001 album Rock Steady.

• "Hey Baby":  Bounty Killer, known for his hard lyrics in songs like "Sufferah" and "Fed Up" from his 2002 Ghetto Dictionary: The Mystery album, sang with No Doubt in "Hey Baby". Some of Bounty Killer's lyrics in "Hey Baby" are "when you rock your hips you know it amaze me...can you be my one and only sunshine lady" and he is featured in the music video.
• "Underneath It All":  Lady Saw joined with No Doubt in "Underneath It All", a mellow song with classic reggae and pop undertones. Stefani sings in the chorus "you're really lovely, underneath it all/ you want to love me, underneath it all". Part of Lady Saw's chant is "underneath it all you are my real prince charming/ like the heat from the fire you are always burning". Lady Saw does not appear in this video. This song appeared in the 2004 romantic comedy 50 First Dates headlined by Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore.

Collaborations with Sean Paul

Sean Paul has collaborated with several major artists including Busta  Rhymes in the "Gimme The Light Remix" and "Make It Clap", Blu Cantrell, Keisha Cole, Keri Hilson and Beyonce.

• "Give It Up To Me": Coming from the movie, Step Up (2006), Sean Paul sings "Give It Up to Me" with R&B songstress, Keisha Cole. Sean Paul chants "first place a where you belong" and "why can't you see, we ought to be together/ girl don't front on me". Lyrics from Keisha Cole include "as a woman on my own, I got it going on/ I'm liking what I see and I don't want to be alone".
• "Hold My Hand (I'll Be There): "Hold My Hand (I'll Be There) features [Keri Hilson](http://www.kerihilson.com) and comes from Sean Paul's 2009 Imperial Blaze album. "Girl you know I care, so if you ever lose your way/ don't have no fear" is part of the chorus that Sean Paul sings. Lyrics from Hilson include "and I never would disrespect boy/ I love you straight to my last breath".

Reggae is a genre that is never stagnant. The artists are talented and have and will continue to collaborate with artists from other genres to give the special flavor to the music that people love.

Ribbon's Tips for Saving & Reducing Debt

Making ends meet is not easy. It gets harder when you have bad habits. I listen to people who are crying that money is tight but yet some of them are 'fly' and taking trips. What are your priorities? I had to set mine in order to survive and still be able to enjoy the basics.

1. Save your change - singles and coins in a jar. Only access when the jar is full or if you really have no other funds to buy bread or water!
2. Take care of your family's clothing so that they can last longer. Iron dark colors with a white cloth and wash whites in hot water.
3. Recycle uniforms, books, church clothes with other family members or close friends.
4. Drive less by grouping errands and walking short distances. It's too hard to find parking spaces anyway!
5. Set a realistic savings goal. $20 per week is still $1,040 for one year.
6. Join a partnerhand and save your hand in a CD or Christmas Club account.
7. Long drives or ferry or airplane trips to shop? Can you really not find what you need online or where you live? What are you shopping for anyway - things you want or need?
8. Set goals. What is more important to you - a home or a car? If it's the car, then take car of it.
9. Include your car in your monthly budget. It needs tires, gas, brakes, servicing, coolant, oil, battery etc. Don't play cheap and not buy the new tires you need and be sure to rotate them. Driving on bum tires burns more gas.
10. If you cook food for your children then you can take lunch to work with you. Are you ashamed to walk with a lunch bag but not afraid to ask someone to buy you lunch? That's an lol moment for me!
11. Do your own hair once or twice a month. I do not mean for you to relax your own hair - we never recommend that. However, can't you style your hair by adding a wig, twisting, afroing, wrapping or using flexirods (thank's Juju) for cute curls.
12. Recycle, Reuse and conserve what you can whenever you can.
13. Try not to use the credit unless you can pay it off in one month. Remember, you pay interest on your credit card debt. If you are late once, your interest payment could double and of course there will be late fees. Use a debit card instead so that means if you don't have the money in the account, you can't shop.
14. Reduce your cable and telephone bills if you can. If you have internet, use Skype or another VOIP.

You still have to enjoy yourself and have fun. However, if you are in debt, you have to make choices to get yourself ahead. So if it means not going to the movies or going shopping, then do what is necessary.

I no longer feel sorry for anyone who lives beyond their means or who wants to keep up with the 'Jones and them'. I've made too many sacrifices to keep myself from sinking. Wake up, grow up and get your finances in order.

This is an example of ribbon's no-nonsense guidelines. Do what you know is right.

ribbon

POEM: How I Feel About You

Jamie Foxx said we are unpredictable
but I say whether or not, anything is possible
cause you and I are inseperable
it's like we are virtually incapable
of not loving each other
not wanting another
cause with you I feel cooler
loving you makes life much smoother
I lavish in the way you've captivated me
you in my future is what I see
this love has taken me to the place I want to be
so let's chill and listen to some Luther, McKnight or Bob Marley
relax, rewind, live life completely
cause you and I deserve more than satisfactory
let's be each other's significant other significantly
distinctively
physically
passionately
spiritually

© Linette Rabsatt

ribbon

POEM: My Sight

My Sight

In the heat of the night
or the heat of the day
My sight is varied
and my heart wants to play
I want to take flight
grow wings and soar
fly high above the mountains
to admire nature's seductive allure
I see the bright lights
the illuminators of the sky
how they shine on their journey
the reason I want to fly
These feelings I don't fight
it's an imagination's climax
only words can describe
wide-eyed thoughts with no syntax

© ribbon

Empowerment & Motivation: Traits of The Model Employee

Who are the model employees? These employees are motivated and empowered so they have a positive attitude and take initiative in developing new ideas.

Supervisors and managers want model employees who are empowered and motivated on their team. A model employee is empowered to take advantage of training opportunities, keeps a positive attitude and sets 'SMART' goals. Motivation is also significant to a model employee because it involves taking initiative and offering fresh ideas.

A Model Employee is Empowered

To empower means to authorize. So empowerment for an employee is that internal momentum that not only promotes belief in himself but gives that additional drive to strive for success. Empowered employees possess a positive mindset, seek new opportunities for growth and development and set SMART goals. 

•  A positive attitude: A positive attitude is an asset to employees in their professional and personal lives. Every day is not perfect, but it is important to view problems as a way to improve problem-solving skills. Think positive thoughts and say positive words to keep focus. Stay away from negative conversations especially those centered around gossip.
• Attains training to enhance self: New and seasoned employees need to attend training sessions or workshops to improve their performance. Some jobs offer training programs and also pay for employees to attend sessions offered by other entities. An empowered employee will also seek out opportunities for growth via the local community college or other workshops offered.
• Sets SMART goals: Everyone should set career and personal goals. Ken Blanchard and Susan Fowler Woodring in their booklet Empowerment: Achieving Peak Performance Through Self-leadership [Blanchard Family Partnership/Successories, Inc.,1998] state that goals should be SMART meaning they should be specific and measurable, motivating, attainable, relevant and trackable. For example, do not set a five year goal to attain a Master's degree if a Bachelor's degree is not acquired first. For long term goals, employees have to consider management positions, entrepreneurship and retirement.

Motivated Employees are Empowered to Take Action

Every person is motivated by different factors. Praise, notoriety, self-satisfaction and monetary rewards are some of the driving forces that keep employees motivated. A motivated employee takes initiative to get the job done right the first time and offers ideas for improving the business activities.

• Takes initiative: A motivated employee is willing to take initiative in situations that call for quick thinking. A motivated employee will not notice that there is one bottle of drinking water left and wait until the supervisor arrives to complain. The model employee will organize for water to be ordered and will ensure that water is always ordered before the last bottle empties.
• Offer ideas for the organization's improvement: Motivated employees offer fresh ideas to managers and supervisors to improve the company's operations. Laborers or junior staff members who keep the operations running will be able to make valid suggestions on improving the operations.

Motivation and empowerment give employees the boost to produce well. If the employees are not motivated, their performance will be poor. If they are not empowered, they will not grow. Model employees are motivated and empowered and committed to their work. They set goals, offer ideas, have a positive attitude and enhance themselves through training.

Owning Real Estate in the BVI for Non-British Virgin Islanders

Persons who are not native to the Virgin Islands and have been willed or are interested in purchasing real estate should know the processes involved.

Persons who are interested in owning real estate in the British Virgin Islands (BVI) but are not born in the BVI or do not have at least one parent or grandparent, a spouse or another warranted circumstance, must apply to the Ministry of Natural Resources and Labour (MNR&L) for a Non-Belonger Land Holding Licence before they can hold title to the property. These persons are classified as "non- belongers" as it pertains to owning property. If a registered company is interested in purchasing property then company documents must be submitted showing the directors and shareholders of the company to determine if the company is a non-belonger company.

The Law Governing Non-BVIslanders and Real Property

The law that governs this process is classified as the "Non- Belongers Land Holding Regulation Act (CAP. 122)". Land can be acquired by foreclosure, purchase or by probate. Once a person is deemed to be a non- belonger, they must complete and submit an application form with the required attachments and fees to the Ministry of Natural Resources and Labour in Road Town, Tortola.

The Non-Belonger Land Holding Licence Application Form

There are two applications forms, one for companies and one for individuals. If more than one individual wishes to apply for a licence to hold land, then each applicant will have to complete a form. For businesses, the form asks for general information about the company and there is a section for the directors and shareholders to answer general questions similar to the forms for individual applicants.

• Application Form for Individual Applicants: This form asks for general identification information such as one's name, address, contact information, places previous lived and employment status. It is important to answer all the relevant questions since the application may be returned for unanswered questions.
• Application Form for Companies: The general information in relation to the company that is required is the company name, registered office, contact information and the type of shares issued. The application also asks for the "main objectives for which the company is established." A company is deemed a non-belonger company if any of the directors are non-belongers. In addition, if the directors are BVIslanders and more than one-third of the shareholders are non-belongers, the company is deemed a non-belonger company.
• Property Description: The company and individual applications ask for the description of the land. Land in the BVI is classified by a block number, parcel number and a registration section. The local name of the location must also be submitted and notes of any right of way to the beach must be included. The application must also state whether the property is developed or undeveloped. If there is development, then the number of bedrooms, bathrooms and other rooms must be stated and photos are to be provided.
• Vendor or Lessor Information Must Be Shared: The name of the vendor or lessor must be submitted in the application form and it must be clarified if he or it is a belonger or belonger company.
• Usage and Future Plans to be Detailed: The Ministry of Natural Resources and Labour of the Government of the British Virgin Islands requires that any potential non-belonger land owner share the purchase price and their plans for the usage and/or development of the property. Applicants must also share their source of funds for financing.

Supporting Documents to the Non-Belonger Land Holding Licence Application

Firstly, the MNR&L requires that application forms are original forms with a color logo and not photocopies. The supporting documents are the same for both individual and company applications, except that the company applications must be accompanied by company documents.

• References & Identification: The application for each applicant or director or shareholder must be accompanied by two character references and two personal references. According to the application form, the personal reference must indicate "the applicant's ability to purchase land and to carry out the proposed development or improvement." The Ministry recommends that this reference should come from an employer, auditor or banking institution. A financial statement which is one year's worth of bank statements from a savings or checking account, is also required. A current police report must also be submitted as well as a recent passport-sized photograph of each applicant.
• Supporting Documents for the Property: The property must be advertised for four weeks in a local newspaper. The local papers in the BVI are published once per week. The advertisement must share the size, information about whether the property is developed, and contact information for the vendor. A valuation or appraisal report from an appraiser licensed in the BVI must also be submitted in addition to the sales agreement and name of the potential contractor. Another document is a letter-sized survey map of the property which must be requested from a licensed surveyor in the BVI.
• Documents from the Vendor: If the vendor is a belonger or belonger company, copies of birth certificates or belongers identification cards should be attached. If the vendor is non-belonger, then a copy of their transfer document or land title and a copy of the vendor's non-belonger land holding licence should be attached.
• Supporting Documents for Company Applications: Applications from companies should submit copies of the certificate of incorporation, the memorandum and articles of association, a certificate of good stand and a certified document detailing the directors and shareholders of the company from the jurisdiction of incorporation.

Non-Belongers Land Holding Licence Applications and Probates and Divorces
For persons who have been bequeathed real estate in the BVI, the same application procedures apply but a copy of the grant of probate also needs to be submitted and the property need not be advertised. If a couple who had a licence has divorced, documentation reflecting the details of the settlement and the Decree Absolute should also be submitted with the application.

To ensure that your application is processed in a timely fashion, be sure to follow the guidelines set out in the application form and attach all the required supporting documents. For more information about the applications for Non-Belonger Land Holding Licences, you may contact the Ministry of Natural Resources and Labour in the British Virgin Islands.

Do You Really Want Change?

"Keep Quiet"
"Don't Complain"
"Father Will Provide"
"You're Too Hasty"

These statements are made to people who want to speak out for change and improvement. I will stay that before you can ask for change, you have to know the situation/status of the particular matter.

There is a lot of wrong in the world but if we all stay quiet and leave it up to the other person to speak out or take action, then we will never progress. One slave had to encourage and enable the others to revolt. Persons like Noel Lloyd stood up for the rights of the native Virgin Islanders. When he stood up, he was standing up against other Virgin Islanders who were selling the country out.

I feel that we have become complacent and accepting of poor behavior for too long in the Virgin Islands. We have landlords 'stealing' their tenants deposits. We have resorts, supermarkets and other entities that are mistreating their staff by ignoring every labor law of the territory. We have many social issues that are affecting our young people. If no one wants to speak out then what is going to happen?

For those people on jobs who are suffering, in a lot of cases there is no one to reach to because the authorities are all in the same club with the managers. In entities where there is a human resources manager, is this person caring or is this person a purveyor of misery and trouble for the employees?

If we choose to speak out, we may be labeled, hated or ostracized, but it is a leap that someone has to take. Speaking out or taking action does not mean 'going postal" but it may be in the positive actions you take. I went to a workshop where a video was shown and a new employee who came with a positive attitude was able to spread his positivity to the other employees.

If necessary, putting thoughts in writing can be a step to encouraging change. I always prefer, even if I am upset, to write with positivity. Rather than throwing hurtful words, seeking a positive resolution. When we are angry, we take actions that are not always the best choices.

We cry for change and are willing to risk 'life and limb'. We have to choice our path to figurative 'war' wisely. Sometimes, saying 'thank you' is just enough. You will never be able to change people - not just like that. You will hope that their actions improve but in many cases unless they get that 'come-up-ance' they will be stuck in that mire. The one thing they will walk away with is not to mess with you anymore.

If you want to change to happen, evaluate, choose your method and fight with a positive mind for a healthy outcome. Sometimes, there won't be a win-win situation but if change is needed, we have to speak up for it.

ribbon

POEM: Thoughts

Thoughts

I have thoughts
so many
so hefty
so crazy
I write them
I live them
keeping them positive
is hard
but with God
I can survive
and push through walls
face the threats
and stand up tall


ribbon

Let's Stay Together: A Successful Season 1

Let's Stay Together, BET's new sitcom for 2011 brought viewers romance and comedy as the characters dealt with their various relationship issues.

Thirteen great episodes encompassed the first season of Let's Stay Together, BET's new sitcom launched in 2011. Let's Stay Together was created by Jacque Edmonds Cofer , who also executive produced the sitcom. Cofer has written for other shows like Martin, Living Single, Moesha and All About The Andersons. She shared that Let's Stay Together was conceptualized as "basically a romantic comedy".

Cast of Let's Stay Together

Cofer worked with a cast of young and upcoming actors including Nadine Ellis as "Stacy" and Bert Belasco as "Charles", Stacy's fiance. Joyful Drake plays "Tasha" and her husband is "Jamal" played by RonReaco Lee. Erica Hubbard carries the role of  Charles' happy sister "Kita". Other actors who appeared on the show include Jackee Harry from 227 and Sister, Sister who plays Charles' mom. Charles's dad is played by Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs. Ron Canada, who has appeared on Law & Order, Boston Legal and Murder One, acts as Stacy and Tasha's dad. Their mom is played by Daphne Reid Maxwell, who replaced Janet Hubert on Fresh Prince of Bel-Air in the 1990s.

Other actors who appeared on Let's Stay Together include Kim Whitley from Living Single, Countess Vaughn from The Parkers as Kita's friend, Henry Simmons from Madea's Family Reunion (2006) as Stacy's patient's father and date and Eva Pickford from America's Next Top Mode as another of Kita's friends. Anna Maria Horsford from Amen played the wedding planner, Tichina Arnold from Everybody Hates Chris acted as the counselor and Thomas Mikal Ford from Martin as the pastor also made appearances on the show.

Season 1 of Let's Stay Together Overview

On Season 1, fans of the show were able to watch Charles and Stacy live together and then separate before getting back together. We saw Jamal and Tasha with the fiery romance of newlyweds with twin babies and financial shortcomings. Kita surprisingly was everybody's girl and she looked out for all the other characters.

• Charles and Stacy: Charles and Stacy seemed to be very romantic even though they did not always agree on every subject or issue that arose in the relationship. They broke up after Stacy struggled to settle on a wedding date, even after the help of the wedding planner that Charles hired. Charles continued to get frustrated as Stacy chose a fictitious date of June 31 for the wedding and he eventually moved out of Stacy's home. They dealt with the seperation in different ways but ended up clashing as they both unknowingly showed up at a dinner that Jamal and Tasha planned with dates. It was at that time, after tempers flared, that they finally chose a wedding date.
• Tasha and Jamal: These fun young newlywed parents seemed to always seek an opportunity to earn money. Tasha tried to create a baby skincare line, she wrote a children's book and she also tried to join an elitist women's group. Tasha stands as the bossy one in the relationship and who likes to be the center of attention. However Jamal stood up to her in relation to her wanting to dress his son as a girl for a photo shoot. He also actually cut up the cards in one episode even though Tasha jokingly asked her dad to hit him.
• Kita: Kita has lent a helping hand to every other character but has remained single during the first season. She babysat for Jamal and Tasha which caused some tension for the newlyweds since Kita's good rapport with the children and her command of housework seemed to outshine Tasha. Kita offered advice to all the characters at some point and she especially tried to encourage Charles to work hard not to lose Stacy. On one episode, Kita took a vow of silence and she showed the angst of not being able to share her ideas with the others during that time.

Let's Stay Together Season Finale

 The finale episode began with a rehearsal dinner on the day before the wedding. The parents were all there to celebrate what seemed to be an astronomical achievement for this couple. Stacy's mom, Juanita, claimed that she introduced Charles and Stacy and clips revealed the first interactions between the couple at Stacy's home. Viewers were also able to see when Charles proposed at Stacy's home with flowers and candles in the kitchen he built for her. He stooped on one bended knee and asked her to be in his wife and it was shared that he moved in one week later.

As the episode progressed, Charles did not seem to be ready for the wedding. He seemed to be having a lot of second thoughts and is shown trying to smoke a cigarette just before the ceremony. There is irony because Stacy was the one who seemed to be having second thoughts throughout the season but she appeared to be calm and ready. Although Charles was a bit shaky, he did make it to the altar. Stacy shared her thoughts at the beginning of the ceremony from 1 Corinthians and Charles sang "Never" by Jahiem.

As the ceremony progressed, Charles ran out because he forgot a letter in the car that would tell Stacy how much he loved her. The final scene of this episode reveals that he got stuck in an elevator that was not working and the wedding was postponed. In addition, an ex-boyfriend of Tasha's appeared at the wedding, apparently a former client of Charles, and she seemed to be uncomfortable with his presence, yet reminiscent of the past.

With all that has happened on Season 1 of Let's Stay Together, viewers are already anticipating another season. The burning queries asked are about the wedding ceremony, the strange appearance

of Tasha's ex and if Kita will ever find someone to love her.

Modest or Perfect: Are You Within Your Means

The perfect person does not exist. We have these crazy standards of beauty and excellence that only serve to drive people crazy. We have people who are digging themselves in debt for material things just to fit in and play a role or show an image.

I watch Suze Orman from time to time and I like her show. I think more people need to watch it and be realistic with themselves on their finances. Why are we buying expensive cell phones if we can't afford to buy lunch? Furthermore, shouldn't we walk with lunch so that we can splurge on something nice every month? Better yet, why can't we save that money.

When my car broke down, everyone had the most advice for me. Of course, I actually listened and then I sold the car. The repair would cost more than the deposit on a new car so I had to make a choice. I catch the bus now and I cut down on window-shopping and being up and down all over the place spending money. Most people frown on catching the bus but I no longer worry about brakes, tires, car insurance or the soaring gas prices. I learn to make do, tag along if necessary and plan my trips.

Plus I think I adjust to situations wells - in most cases. I am a complainer because I just can't take too much nonsense. However, when it comes to finances, I make do and make things happen to work in my favor. I don't beg, I don't steal and I try my best not to be a bother to the people around me.

I don't mix money with friends at all. I like to know that we can help each other and I am willing to help in any way I can. I have very good people around me and I am thankful to God for them. However, we all have that one or two around us who like to borrow money. Some borrow because they are in tight situations and there are others who live beyond their means and use someone else to catch up.

We all can be financially enabled but we have to make tough decisions. I shop at sales - from the grocery, clothing stores, yard sales, etc. I have to find ways to make ends meet. I walk with luch everyday and if I do need to buy food, I opt to have a slice of pizza or something under $5. I would have liked a parttime job but with my children I have to make time for them. So I prefer an online writing gig so that I can work from home.

If we want to have the awesome material things, we have to make serious decisions. Perfection can never be attained. Live comfortably while setting realistic savings goals and stay out of deep debt. A mortgage or a land loan is a much better investment than a $30K SUV. Getting a loan and using the money for saving while accelerating the loan payments are better than buying 3 tvs for one home.

Motto - live within your means.

ribbon

If I'm in the Right Mood, You Might Get the Busy Signal

From looking through my blog, you will notice that I am a big fan of music. Reggae is one of my favorite genres but I also enjoy R&B and Hip Hop. I pretty much prefer the old school R&B and Hip Hop to the sometimes tasteless and lyrically empty music that is heard on the airwaves today.

I don't mind the bubblegum music but I will not buy it because it's not lasting music. You forget them when the gum is chewed. Looking back, some people may have called Hip Hop a passing fad but it has lasted. Unfortunately, the artists are becoming more empty and materialistic so many of them are passing through as the hot topic today and forgotten tomorrow. Some very talented artists have resorted to showing skin or chat trash so that their music can be noticed. For some, like Common, they stick to their style of music but try to infuse new beats to that enhance the lyrical content and flow.

Reggae also has its passing fads because building star power in the Caribbean is one thing but making it in the US and UK is another level. I love Sean Paul's style although he is more on the dancehall tip. His voice is different but I realize he's not the best dancer. He made a successful crossover to the US and UK and continues to bring some great hits.

Reggae artists who have a lot to offer include Busy Signal, Queen Ifrica, Richie Spice, Jah Cure, Etana, Alaine and Tarrus Riley. Of course I must mention Pressure and Niyorah from the USVI, Romain Virgo, Lutah Fyah etc who I love as well. I can not say that these artists write their lyrics but if they do, kudos on great lyrical content.

Reggae is mellow yet racy and uplifting ...with a great beat. The lyrics have gone past uprising, mellow moods and fire burning. Reggae's content has touched every vice and every thing that is good. Pull some records from Marley, Tosh, Isaacs, Miller, Hill and so forth. Then pull some Tanya Stevens, Lady Saw, Movado etc and see that reggae and dancehall is the Caribbean voice even when there is a negative voice spoken.

So if I'm in the right mood, you might get Busy Signal's music when you visit me - physically or via internet.

ribbon

Crooked or Straight Describes "All a We"

Unscrupulous people are all around us. They may be in your family, in your church, on your job, in your bank and so on. There is always a crook or two around us. We shouldn't hate them because of their dirty ways or because they seem to always get ahead. We shouldn't envy them either.

I don't even bother to feel sorry for them because some of them are not worth it. In some cases after a run-in, I say THANKS! I've learned from them how not to be a crook or even a 'fake' Christian or fake friend putting on airs. I feel the worst about persons in the church who on one hand work to win souls and then backbite the same souls. I don't know if we should call that an oxymoron or just call them 'morons' for being so hypocritical. What are you telling the young christians?

We have our bad ways and some may have more than others. As humans, we all have some measure of greed or lust, we all lie and many of us steal time or supplies from our jobs. There is truth in that.

If you are a crooked person reading this, try to run straight for once. I am not sraight every day and I have some crooked ways like everybody else but I never try to be openly deceitful or try to be underhanded. Sometimes people's perceptions lead them to think that you are, but once you know that you did the right thing, tell them "fire for you" (V.I. Slang).

All we can do is try our best everyday to do the right thing and live right with our neighbors and friends.

ribbon

POEM: Arrest by Linette Rabsatt

Season 4 of The Game on BET Recap

We saw many dramatic moments on The Game during Season 4 on BET. Tasha, Jason, Kelly, Derwin, Malik and Melanie had us glued to the television screen.

Season 4 of The Game on BET brought viewers a lot of drama in 2011. BET brought back the show, which is the first time that a live sitcom that was cancelled was brought back to television with a new season. We saw the same characters from the original CW show with the addition of a few new faces - new characters who took the drama to another level.

Mrs. Melanie Barnett-Davis

 Season 4 shows Mr. and Mrs. Derwin Davis as a couple two years into marriage. The writers brought back "Janay" played by Gabrielle Dennis (the mother of Derwin Jr., also called DJ), for a little drama between her and "Melanie" (Tia Mowry-Hardict). One of Melanie's claims continued to be that Janay wanted what she and Derwin had - a great life. Melanie gave DJ a DNA test which gave a false result that Derwin was not his father. After the drama behind the DNA test, Melanie realized that unknown to her, Derwin was visiting Janay's home weekly to play with DJ. In Season 4, Melanie became the president of the Sunbeams, the wives and significant others of the San Diego Sabers football team.

She had a run-in with "Jazz", played by Lashontae Heckard, in relation to the right 'role models' since Jazz had slept with Jason, Derwin, Malik and other players before settling with Juvon, who is played by Bumper Robinson who we know from Amen and Family Matters. The last episodes of Season 4 showed Melanie and Derwin trying to get pregnant. Despite all her trying, Melanie was not successful. The final episode showed Melanie and Derwin visiting the doctor. When the doctor asked if Melanie had ever had an abortion, Derwin's demeanor changed. That episode ended with Derwin not asking whether Melanie had had an abortion, but asking if the baby would have been his.

Derwin Davis - The Star Receiver

In this season, "Derwin", who is  played by Pooch Hall, continued his 'church-boy' image while being a rising athlete who still showed genuine care for his family and friends in always wanting to be the problem solver. With Jason's retirement and Malik's misfortunes, Derwin literally became the strongest athlete on the team. However, with all his success, Melanie applied pressure to Derwin on several occasions. When she informed Derwin about the false result of the DNA test, she convinced him to confront Janay. She pressured him to have her parents visit although the previous seasons showed that her parents did not favor Derwin. After her parents gave Derwin high praise on the Season 4 visit, Melanie got jealous and displayed her typical 'drama queen' tirade.

Jason Pitts - Retired Player and Dad

"Jason", Coby Bell, was 'retired' by the Sabers and ended up working with basketball great Chris Webber on a show called "Benched". Jason had several fights with his ex-wife, Kelly and also their daughter, "Brittany 'Brit-Brat' Pitts" who on this season was played by Kathlynn Simone Smith. To save Brittany from a destructive lifestyle, after she posed lightly-clad on the internet and stole Tasha's weed for her friends, Jason quit "Benched" to look after her. On the finale episode, Jason met "Quan Kirkland", the Saber's new quarterback played by Charles Michael Davis. What caught Jason's attention was that Quan seemed to be dating "Camille", Stacy Dash, Jason's ex-girlfriend from the previous season.

Kelly Pitts - The Mom and Ex-Wife

 Brittany Daniels returned as "Kelly Pitts" but the character did not appear in all the episodes. Kelly was supposed to star in a reality show about football wives. She tried to interject the show at every moment by interrupting a Sunbeam meeting and ladies' night out with her camera crew. Jason repeatedly asked Kelly to quit her show but she finally listened when their daughter, Brittany, posted the unacceptable photographs on the internet. After Kelly tried to discipline Brittany and saw the daughter's reaction, she quit the reality show and told Jason that she needed some time to get herself together. Kelly did not appear in the final episodes of The Game in Season 4.

Tasha Mack - Struggling With Relationships

"Tasha", as usual, still had problems with men in Season 4. She had the young love interest 'Dante' played by Terrance J from BET's 106 & Park. Their relationship did not work out and then she moved into a whirlwind relationship with a supposedly dying man, "Bo," played by Mario Van Peebles, who ended up being a player in the end. Tasha's relationships with the other females, Kelly and Melanie, had ups and downs too. Tasha made up with Kelly during the season but by the finale episode, Derwin and Melanie fired Tasha as Derwin's manager.

Malik Wright - The Quarterback's Ups and Downs

"Malik,' Hosea Chanchez's role, had a captivatingly dramatic season. His assault of a police officer started a downward spiraling set of behavior. One of Malik's issues was that "TeeTee," still played by Barry Floyd, resigned as Malik's wingman and started a business selling fried chicken with TeeTee's new love interest. Malik eventually had relations with TeeTee's girl, which TeeTee eventually forgave Malik for. Malik, at the same time, was sleeping with his new team manager's wife. The manager is played by Michael Beach from the movie Soul Food and his wife, 'Parker" is played by Meagan Good.

With all the negativity Malik was reeking, he opted to go to rehab. At first rehab had no impact until Malik met "Jenna, played by Tia Sumpter, during the rehab stint. Malik pronounced his love for Jenna on The Monique Show by imitating the Tom Cruise's visit on The Oprah Show where he jumped on the couch. Unfortunately for Malik, Parker blackmailed him about their infidelities until he found the strength to tell her that she needed to fix her relationship with her husband. Parker did and admitted to the husband that she had an affair with Malik.

This was said in front of Jenna who cut off Malik. The affair with Parker also cost Malik his quarterback status on the team as the manager threatened to leave him on the bench to rot. Tasha took back Malik as a client and in the final episode, Jenna drove back to Malik's house in what seems to be an inebriated state. 

Season 4 was an enjoyable season. There are unanswered questions as to the status of all the relationships and only another season or few seasons can really give viewers any closure.