Behaviors We Need to Check Ourselves On

I get my inspiration from many places, but it is more prominent when I garden or hang clothes. I draw ideas from conversations, happenings, memes, or concerns. This blog post came from a series of different events that alarmed or surprised me. I started to consider growing up and what people told me. I also thought about what I say to my children and other young people. Therefore, I decided to pen this list of behaviors we need to reconsider.

• No Comparison to Siblings, Parents, or Other Members of the Family

We are all not the same. We don't process things the same way, and we do not have the same talents. Please don't compare each other. I say this to teachers and employers. Learn about each person through interaction and encourage them in their journeys.

• I am Not My Hair or My Skin

A hairstyle is a personal choice and does not depict anything but a personal choice. You do not have to like someone's hairstyle, but you should not judge the person by how their hair looks. I would say it is the same for tattoos. Some religions frown on tattoos, and I don't have any. However, some people enjoy wearing their tattoos, dreadlocks, perms, etc. That is fine!

• Custom and Culture are Different

I have said this before in a previous blog post. We must recognize that culture evolves; therefore, we should record the history that we create. Our future generations need to be able to appreciate our journey.

• Don't greet me with "You Get Fat!"

Somehow, we think it is cute to greet someone with, "How you get so fat?" or "You lose so much weight - you sick?" We emphasize physical appearance, yet we encourage unhealthy eating habits and lifestyles. We can ask how someone is doing or about their family or job. Maybe, we could greet the person and not ask them anything. I think we have hurt too many people with our words. It's time to change the conversation.

Meme: https://me.me/i/all-caribbean-people-do-is-ask-you-to-bring-something-17898247

• "Mind your Business"

Please refer to the previous bullet point and focus on developing yourself or encouraging those around you. We call it "melee" when you gossip. If you put more energy into your personal growth instead of digging into others' personal lives, you can use that time to learn new skills or enjoy yourself with your family. In this category, I also ask that you do not speak ill of other people's children, despite any wrongdoing. Instead, pray for them and their parents.

• Let People Choose their Career

When I was growing up, people told me:

1. Don't be a lawyer because they lie a lot
2. Join the army
3. Not to say you want someone's job because they will block you in life

Today, I smile. I have exploratory conversations with my children. I chose my path based on my interests because I wanted to be happy and inspire others. We do not have to agree with our children's choices, and we should encourage them to weigh all options. However, I know what it feels like to be unhappy in a job, so I will not pressure anyone to choose a career they are not comfortable pursuing.

• You Can't Force "Big People!"

We love to push our personal opinion on others. Stop it! If someone asks for advice, share it. If you see another person going down the wrong path, encourage them to do better. However, do not push your agenda on other people. Whether you are forcing them to side with your political, religious, or biased view, stop it! Share your side and let the person make their decision.

• Listen!

Please listen to the person speaking with you. We clutter the world with activity, media, and confusion, so you cannot always focus your time to listen. However, if someone reaches out to you, please hear them out. Don't be quick to hear and dismiss. Sometimes, people need your help or need to vent. 

I mentioned the word 'journey' several times and alluded to communication and perception throughout this post. We have to be mindful of ourselves, relatives, friends, co-workers, and the community. We all are on a journey and need each other. Be good to those with who you come in contact.

Ribbon