Tuesday, September 28, 2021

Words are Powerful: How Do You Use Your Tongue?

Do you think that there is power in your tongue?

The Bible gives us several references about our tongues and the power they possess. Read:
  • 1 Peter 3:10: For, Whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech...."
  • Proverbs 10:19: Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues.
  • Proverbs 15:4: The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.
  • Proverbs 21:23: Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity.
Although we have multiple translations of the Bible, we should have no difficulty understanding what these verses and other similar ones are saying. We ought to keep our conversations positive and refrain from defamation, negativity, and gossip.

I take this advice even more seriously because we impact people with the things that we say. While we may want to deny it, the people in our circle play a role in influencing our choices or aversions. Due to the nature of the interaction, our educators, religious leaders, coworkers, and social media contacts impact us more than we think.

Education System
Do you remember that teacher who saw your potential and encouraged you to try something? I fondly remember joining an English Literature class at the University of the Virgin Islands - apprehensive because I struggled with Literature in High School. The lecturer, Dr. Vincent Cooper, awakened my interest in the subject because he was engaging. He asked us to write a few poems for assignments, for which I was not confident. However, surprisingly, he gave me positive feedback and encouraged me to keep writing. Twenty-five years later, I have a catalog of several hundred poems.

Conversely, we have friends and colleagues who have had opposite experiences with educators. The words that we utter to others, especially young people, can have lasting effects. I know someone who recalls the negative words spoken about his ability to learn. Thankfully, he persevered and has become a positive role model to others. Therefore, we need to ensure that we need to remember our purpose in developing others.

Workplace
I thrive in a workplace where my talents are recognized, encouraged, and developed. I do not want my manager to micromanage, and I never want to be an overbearing manager. Unfortunately, we have managers who berate employees and harbor a toxic atmosphere in the workplace. Even a positive and energetic employee will eventually break or leave. I remember visiting an establishment and hearing the manager cursing the employees. I was very embarrassed. Most of the employees left eventually because the manager did not understand how to communicate.

Employees do underperform, waste resources or do not follow instructions. However, leaders need to communicate with their teams! Yelling or insulting employees will not help them improve; instead, they will resign or retaliate.

Religion
I know you may be surprised because I started the article with scriptures. However, we have a few persons in these organizations who can be brutal too. We often feel that we are frank, but most often, we are mean. We disapprove of superficial things like appearance, ability or inability to pay tithes, denomination, career choice, ethnicity, or family heritage. Instead, we need to be more inclusive, understanding, and encouraging. I will take constructive criticism over an insult. What about you? I am not saying that religious leaders should condone what they know to be immoral, unethical, or illegal in their congregations. They should be nurturing the adherents to live right by being excellent role models in their words and actions.

Social Media
Social Media has enabled us to take freedom of speech to another level. People feel they can say anything, tag anyone and make other persons look bad. Sometimes, I see persons post experiences or ask questions, and they are insulted or scolded. I never post a negative response; I either send a private message or provide an answer to assist them.
 
I am not perfect. I get annoyed with people (more often lately), especially when I know they know better. I try not to hurt them, but sometimes, I have to be blunt. I have people insult my choices, my hair, my work, and my poetry. However, I learned a long time ago that my happiness is not determinant on anyone else. I have grown to understand that my words are powerful, and if I use them correctly, I can be a catalyst for positive change.

Remember, you hold power in your speech. Do not push negative agendas or deter others from seeking to improve themselves. Use your words wisely to influence positive change!

Saturday, September 18, 2021

Advice I Needed to Hear When I was Young

Advice
In the past few days, I had to speak to several young persons concerning jobs and life in general. I knew one from when he was younger, and I have never met the other. Both persons thanked me for sharing some unsolicited advice with them. As I reflect, I remember getting random advice and good counsel when I was their age, but that was when I had messed up or was about to.

As you may have figured out, I am always chatting with Dr. Dierdra Wheatley-Peters, and we have been throwing around ideas on how we can encourage our youth in the community. When we messaged each other today, I shared that I wanted to write something along these lines because I wish someone had advised me differently. Some persons have written about what they would say to their younger selves, but I wanted to share my perspective. My story is not very unique, neither is it typical. I am grateful for every experience because I have grown tremendously.

To my younger self:

1. Think Career over Job
When I was sixteen (16), I was confident that I would be an accountant. After one (1) semester at the University of the Virgin Islands, I changed my major. I earned exceptional grades in high school in accounting. However, I realize that I just like mathematics and accounts for the challenge of finding the answer or balancing. I switched my major to marketing because it seemed fun, and I loved being creative.

Therefore, I would tell any young person to sit and speak with persons in their field of interest. Research locally, regionally, and internationally about the opportunities and what the work entails. Request an unpaid internship to get the experience. Today, I am advising my children to pursue what they love. We have to start getting work experience somewhere, but you must keep your career goal in mind. Also, if you change your mind about your career path, it is okay. I've gone from accounting to marketing, but I am a human resources professional and writer (after struggling with English classes).

2. Put Romantic Relationships on Pause
I did get this advice because adults would tell me not to get pregnant. Instead, I think they needed to inspire me to love myself and not to get emotionally attached. I needed to hear that a man did not define me. Someone needed to tell me that I should put my love into building me.

At that time, I needed to hone my craft and become the exceptional me. I agreed with Teddy Pendergrass when he sang, "So good, good lovin' somebody and somebody loves you back." However, at that age, I needed to love myself and improve my wellbeing.

3. Embrace Your Brand
I tried to follow trends to feel a part of something or to belong. Anyone who knows me today knows that I set my trends. The bracelets I wear, as I typed this, were made by my daughter. I upcycled a broken watch into a bracelet with colored pebbles. Back then, I would have wanted to fit in. I changed my hair and damaged it to please people. I encourage young people today: be your beautiful self and set trends. Build your brand and be confident with it.

4. Do More Volunteering
The old people used to say, "had a been know never come in front." It was only recently that the BVI mandated that all graduating high school seniors complete 120 hours of community service. When I first went to UVI in 1995, my sisters were in the process of completing their community service hours as a graduating requirement. I wished that I had that experience.

The benefits of volunteering include job experience and access to references who can attest to your work ethic. You also have the fulfillment of doing something meaningful. Some parents were opposed to the community service requirement in the BVI; however, the benefits far outweigh any disadvantages. We may claim that performing the hours is time-consuming, but it is time well spent. It also opens job opportunities.

5. Stand Up and Take Action
As a child, I was an extrovert. After going to high school, I pulled into a shell. Even today, I am the quiet voice in a crowded room. I would tell my younger self to voice opinions and take more risks. Somehow we become shy and reactive. I do not know if it is the harsh criticism we often give each other. It could be adults or persons in seniority disregard the opinions of the young people, inexperienced or subordinate. Sometimes our best innovations come from a novice.

So I would tell any young person today to share your ideas and your talents. Please be respectful but do not bottle up your inspiration. We allow children to showcase their amazing imaginations in primary school. So what happens when we become adults? We let people influence us to hide our imaginations and conform to the norms. Continue to dream! Do articulate your ideas to persons who will appreciate your viewpoint and who can implement your suggestions.

6. "Not Every Skin Teeth is a Smile"
I am sure every Caribbean island has a version of this colloquialism. Per The Virgin Islands Dictionary, 'skin teet' means "to smile widely and often." The saying tells us to be mindful of persons who may seem pleasant. They may have bad intentions. You would not expect anything negative because the person will seem genuine.

I was told this but never understood until I started working. I watched one of my appointment letters circulate in an office by persons who warmly greeted me on my first day. I would not have expected that from seasoned professionals. I have learned well, and I would never do that to another person.

Reflection
I shared the top six (6) things that I wish someone had shared with me when I was younger. Do you agree? What would you add or subtract? Will you advise young people within your reach to consider similar to what I have shared?

One hymn line that has stuck with me is "it only takes a spark to get the fire going." Let's ignite a fire of passion, confidence, and critical thinking in our youth. Each adult has something that they can share to encourage some young person. Please be mindful of your approach and do not overdo it or bombard the person. Share your story so that your listeners can understand the context. Go out and inspire a young person today.

Ribbon

Saturday, September 11, 2021

Birthday Inspiration: Seven Insights I Have Gained as I Have Grown


I have not had a hard life. I have faced struggles; however, I was never hungry, homeless, or abused. I have made many mistakes. I have overthought, reacted too quickly, and upset people that I love. I have said things that I should not have said. I have also ignored issues or danced around them. I know I am not perfect, and I never strive to be. I aim to do my best, and I encourage others to excel. I have garnered many lessons along this journey, some of which I may have shared in this blog before.

This blog has helped me in several ways. I have improved my writing, expanded my poetry portfolio, and shared ideas. I wrote this post today on my birthday because I wanted to share some insights that I have gained. I welcome your responses and ideas.
  1. Sometimes, a hasty response is the right one. I know that we often react quickly and in anger. That quick reaction may have been what was needed! I'll caution you to read over a message before sending or think through a verbal response before speaking.
  2. If you are in customer service, respond to your customers! We also need timely responses that answer our questions and offer viable suggestions.
  3. Do encourage your children to dream, participate and shine in all they do. Foster their interests into entrepreneurial pursuits and let them perform community service - even more than their school requires. Also, inspire them to widen their scope and expertise by encouraging them to participate in competitions in their areas of interest.
  4. If you do your children's schoolwork, stop it. You are setting your children up for failure. Guide them, proofread, show examples and work with them step by step. Please do not do their work for them,
  5. Make a connection with your supervisor or manager. I am not saying to 'kiss up' or get romantically involved with your manager. Instead, ensure that you understand the expectations and you clarify yours. As I got older, I realized the importance of keeping the communication lines open with my managers. You do not have to share your private affairs. However, you need to let your manager know if something is happening that will affect your performance.
  6. COVID-19 has taught us that we are not immune to change and we must adapt. In February 2021, I was in denial about mask-wearing and school closures in the Caribbean. However, this pandemic has affected us greatly as we have lost loved ones. Therefore, we must adapt our culture and behaviors to survive and live. Follow the protocols to reduce the spread of COVID-19.
  7. Your growth and success depend on you! Many people wait for their families, teachers, the government, their managers, or religious leaders to help them to chart their future. These persons can guide, teach, coach, and mentor you, but you are responsible for your outcome. You have to put in the work to enjoy success. Get up and get started today!
I like to think of life as a journey with pitstops, pitfalls, and potholes. Every experience, good or bad, is a learning one. We all face struggles and challenges; however, our responses and coping ability get us through the problems. If you find that you cannot cope, please get help from your pastor, a trusted friend, or a counselor.

Engage in positive conversations and keep in touch with persons who are going to encourage your growth! Remember to recognize your struggles and work within and around them. Congratulate yourself for small wins! Laugh, dance, sing, and love!

Ribbon

Thursday, September 2, 2021

When Change is Inefficient

I have spent most of this week frustrated - not because of COVID-19, any illnesses, financial challenges, or school reopening. Instead, my frustration stems from broken systems. I understand and support change and will continue to encourage adaptability and transformation. However, systems fail when we do not evaluate our progress or pay attention to data or complaints.

No process or system should become so frustrating to make someone want to change their career, venue, or address. So what are we doing wrong? We are complicating things that should be simple. We communicate vaguely and without certainty and confidence. Also, while our ideas are often excellent, we do not take time to determine what the real issues are. We love to bandage and over-treat minor cuts; while we stuff an open wound with cotton!

So, what do we need to do differently? First, we need to listen to the stakeholders - the persons involved in the processes. They are the ones who have to deal with the new forms, amended processes, or abstract decisions. Secondly, we need to determine what the problems are. Is it the people, the process, the resources, the shifting culture, technology, or something else?

After determining the problem(s), then it is time to determine the direction. What works in other similar areas, and how can we tweak it to suit our culture? Of course, we have to get buy-in from our people, which means having discussions and data collection to get feedback. Remember, we want and need feedback, not just people's buy-in.

We have continuously made the mistake of relying on someone's fleeting dream to lead our development and transformation. It is no longer acceptable as we have a generation to prepare for whose needs are different.

Once something is implemented, we cannot forget to step back and evaluate what has happened. How are people being affected by this change? Has there been any improvement? I spend a lot of time griping about things that could be smoother, more organized, and more efficient. The only power I have is my ability to complain. I do not like to call it complaining; instead, I offer feedback and suggestions.

No change aimed for the better should cause hysteria, frustration, or a blow to morale. We have to recognize when something is not working and be willing and ready to revamp. As we tweak, we must keep the stakeholders updated.

Of course, when we do not listen to the stakeholders, we see the effects of brain drain in the jurisdiction, high turnover in organizations or industries, decrease in GDP, increased crime and mental health issues, etc.

As Andy Stanley has stated, "Leaders who don't listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing helpful to say."

I will continue to be an active stakeholder and share my concerns and suggestions.

Wednesday, September 1, 2021

POEM: You are Valuable

Diamond
In life
sometimes we are treated
like a crutch or a crotch
and while we may want
to retaliate or reciprocate
maybe it's a matter of fate
and having faith
letting things flow
letting things go
so we can be move on
move out
move around
move south
wherever there is peace
and piece of mind
because time is
wasted
when waste is debated
you are not a backup plan
or a last minute meal
like a can of Spam
or like an email full of spam
you are someone special
not a crutch
and certainly not a crotch
your efforts
your time
your caring
your sincerity
are valuable
so stand out
stand up
make the best choices
for you
and let no one
bridle your voice
insult your style
 or waste your talent
so take flight
fight
and be great

© Linette Rabsatt