Odd Man Out

I have been the 'odd man out' throughout my life. People think I am always calm and friendly, but I mainly keep to myself. At school, I had a small circle. I didn't think I fit in. At work, I think it's the same. I always feel like I can analyze why things happen. So I think that I act this way because I grew up sheltered and away from my siblings.

A lot of people think they know me. However, I am sure they wouldn't think about me in the terms I shared above. I have had people ask me if I get mad or unhappy. What? Who doesn't get mad? I find these days my temper is increasingly short. My facial expressions cannot hide my frustration, and I don't know if I want to hide it.

I am looking past people's perceptions, and instead, I am doing the best that I can. I have challenges, like everyone else, and I confide in persons that I can trust. Those who follow me on social media quickly realize that I love poetry, puns, and riddles. I do not put private information on display for everyone to see. On LinkedIn, I focus more on learning from others and using the platform to make connections.

I find 2022 just as challenging as 2021. We face changes to COVID-19 protocols, continued travel restrictions, cost of living increases, etc. I took a day off from work because I needed a moment to step back. If I could get a 4-day work week, I would gladly spend more time enjoying what I love.

I continue to say that 'I invest in the things that build me.' I will maintain this mantra for 2022. While I am the 'odd man out.' I want my people to be successful. I will assist, encourage, and guide others so that they, in turn, can do the same for the next person.

I'm still the odd man out, but I know we have a lot of work to do in our community.

Ribbon

POEM: A Smiling God

I often think that God laughs

as he builds me

I'm not trying to be cynical

I’m not trying to hypocritical

but I'm intrinsically focused

on being a better me

and as God builds me

I know he must enjoy comedy

Like these ‘thick of it’ situations

my constant innovations

and big time preparations

and then the plan changes

I know he smiles

as I think I know it all

and that I can't fall

but God knows

I need to stumble

because I need to be humble

so he smiles at me

tripping, failing and trailing

because I'm being developed

it used to frustrate me

but I learned that

you can’t learn if you don’t do

and I’ve done

been undone

and been the unlucky one

I now see life

as a growth opportunity

Because I understand that

God must build me

© Linette Rabsatt

POEM: I Invest in What Grows Me

I invest in what grows me

I connect with who knows me
and who knows and does better
who understands that life must have laughter
to provide a buffer to all that's jilted
but to give life to the plants that are wilted
I don't put time into vile or poisonous tactics
because my energy is for greater concepts
I want to grow and be challenged
but I also want a life of balance
so I see myself as a plant in the medium sun
I look to watch the rain drops as they run
down my leaves and through to my roots
so I must keep my laces tied on my boots
Invest in what can grow you
develop, challenge and nurture you
love people who hold your best interest at heart
and remain friends in the light and the dark


© Linette Rabsatt