Behaviors We Need to Check Ourselves On

I get my inspiration from many places, but it is more prominent when I garden or hang clothes. I draw ideas from conversations, happenings, memes, or concerns. This blog post came from a series of different events that alarmed or surprised me. I started to consider growing up and what people told me. I also thought about what I say to my children and other young people. Therefore, I decided to pen this list of behaviors we need to reconsider.

• No Comparison to Siblings, Parents, or Other Members of the Family

We are all not the same. We don't process things the same way, and we do not have the same talents. Please don't compare each other. I say this to teachers and employers. Learn about each person through interaction and encourage them in their journeys.

• I am Not My Hair or My Skin

A hairstyle is a personal choice and does not depict anything but a personal choice. You do not have to like someone's hairstyle, but you should not judge the person by how their hair looks. I would say it is the same for tattoos. Some religions frown on tattoos, and I don't have any. However, some people enjoy wearing their tattoos, dreadlocks, perms, etc. That is fine!

• Custom and Culture are Different

I have said this before in a previous blog post. We must recognize that culture evolves; therefore, we should record the history that we create. Our future generations need to be able to appreciate our journey.

• Don't greet me with "You Get Fat!"

Somehow, we think it is cute to greet someone with, "How you get so fat?" or "You lose so much weight - you sick?" We emphasize physical appearance, yet we encourage unhealthy eating habits and lifestyles. We can ask how someone is doing or about their family or job. Maybe, we could greet the person and not ask them anything. I think we have hurt too many people with our words. It's time to change the conversation.

Meme: https://me.me/i/all-caribbean-people-do-is-ask-you-to-bring-something-17898247

• "Mind your Business"

Please refer to the previous bullet point and focus on developing yourself or encouraging those around you. We call it "melee" when you gossip. If you put more energy into your personal growth instead of digging into others' personal lives, you can use that time to learn new skills or enjoy yourself with your family. In this category, I also ask that you do not speak ill of other people's children, despite any wrongdoing. Instead, pray for them and their parents.

• Let People Choose their Career

When I was growing up, people told me:

1. Don't be a lawyer because they lie a lot
2. Join the army
3. Not to say you want someone's job because they will block you in life

Today, I smile. I have exploratory conversations with my children. I chose my path based on my interests because I wanted to be happy and inspire others. We do not have to agree with our children's choices, and we should encourage them to weigh all options. However, I know what it feels like to be unhappy in a job, so I will not pressure anyone to choose a career they are not comfortable pursuing.

• You Can't Force "Big People!"

We love to push our personal opinion on others. Stop it! If someone asks for advice, share it. If you see another person going down the wrong path, encourage them to do better. However, do not push your agenda on other people. Whether you are forcing them to side with your political, religious, or biased view, stop it! Share your side and let the person make their decision.

• Listen!

Please listen to the person speaking with you. We clutter the world with activity, media, and confusion, so you cannot always focus your time to listen. However, if someone reaches out to you, please hear them out. Don't be quick to hear and dismiss. Sometimes, people need your help or need to vent. 

I mentioned the word 'journey' several times and alluded to communication and perception throughout this post. We have to be mindful of ourselves, relatives, friends, co-workers, and the community. We all are on a journey and need each other. Be good to those with who you come in contact.

Ribbon

POEM: When I Sense Danger

As I sense danger

I become a stranger

estranged from the chaos

distanced from the melee

out of sync with the fuss

and definitely not on the bus

I don't and won't engage

Instead I fly like a bird

that doesn't have a home

I find my own zone

and I skip my own stones 

to get out of the mess

far from the fire

and miles away from the mire

don't drag me in

don't call me out

because I am not 

a contestant in that bout

I prefer peace

I enjoy sanity

I relish in the sunlight

Middle ground is my friend

Compromise is key

but don't take me

for a pushover

know that I know when to 

walk away

and drive the bus myself

or take wings and fly

© Linette Rabsatt

Odd Man Out

I have been the 'odd man out' throughout my life. People think I am always calm and friendly, but I mainly keep to myself. At school, I had a small circle. I didn't think I fit in. At work, I think it's the same. I always feel like I can analyze why things happen. So I think that I act this way because I grew up sheltered and away from my siblings.

A lot of people think they know me. However, I am sure they wouldn't think about me in the terms I shared above. I have had people ask me if I get mad or unhappy. What? Who doesn't get mad? I find these days my temper is increasingly short. My facial expressions cannot hide my frustration, and I don't know if I want to hide it.

I am looking past people's perceptions, and instead, I am doing the best that I can. I have challenges, like everyone else, and I confide in persons that I can trust. Those who follow me on social media quickly realize that I love poetry, puns, and riddles. I do not put private information on display for everyone to see. On LinkedIn, I focus more on learning from others and using the platform to make connections.

I find 2022 just as challenging as 2021. We face changes to COVID-19 protocols, continued travel restrictions, cost of living increases, etc. I took a day off from work because I needed a moment to step back. If I could get a 4-day work week, I would gladly spend more time enjoying what I love.

I continue to say that 'I invest in the things that build me.' I will maintain this mantra for 2022. While I am the 'odd man out.' I want my people to be successful. I will assist, encourage, and guide others so that they, in turn, can do the same for the next person.

I'm still the odd man out, but I know we have a lot of work to do in our community.

Ribbon

POEM: A Smiling God

I often think that God laughs

as he builds me

I'm not trying to be cynical

I’m not trying to hypocritical

but I'm intrinsically focused

on being a better me

and as God builds me

I know he must enjoy comedy

Like these ‘thick of it’ situations

my constant innovations

and big time preparations

and then the plan changes

I know he smiles

as I think I know it all

and that I can't fall

but God knows

I need to stumble

because I need to be humble

so he smiles at me

tripping, failing and trailing

because I'm being developed

it used to frustrate me

but I learned that

you can’t learn if you don’t do

and I’ve done

been undone

and been the unlucky one

I now see life

as a growth opportunity

Because I understand that

God must build me

© Linette Rabsatt

POEM: I Invest in What Grows Me

I invest in what grows me

I connect with who knows me
and who knows and does better
who understands that life must have laughter
to provide a buffer to all that's jilted
but to give life to the plants that are wilted
I don't put time into vile or poisonous tactics
because my energy is for greater concepts
I want to grow and be challenged
but I also want a life of balance
so I see myself as a plant in the medium sun
I look to watch the rain drops as they run
down my leaves and through to my roots
so I must keep my laces tied on my boots
Invest in what can grow you
develop, challenge and nurture you
love people who hold your best interest at heart
and remain friends in the light and the dark


© Linette Rabsatt

Happy New Year from Words of Ribbon with 10 Tips

Happy 2022!

I wish you all the best for 2022 and beyond! We can only hope for the best and put our best foot forward.

1. Moving forward, I recommend these ten (10) tips:
2. Expect challenges and use them as learning and growth teachings
3. Decide if an argument is worth it - put your energy to better use
4. Take care of your health - it is your wealth
5. Go easy on the 'sluxxin' - enjoy your food but go easy on the overeating and binge foods
6. Find some way to keep active and exercise - the internet provides so many suggestions
7. Balance family and work - family first!
8. Take every opportunity to learn something new
9. Step out of your comfort zone - reach for what you desire!
10. Use social media wisely - sell stuff, promote your brand/reputation, connect with loved ones
11. Don't stifle yourself - shut out the negative self-talk and refer to #8

I have stopped making New Year's Resolutions for some time. I believe that we should do our best consistently. I don't subscribe to marking a date for making a change. Just do it! However, if that works for you, go forward.

We are all works in progress. Live, love, and learn.

Linette
Ribbon

POEM: Playing with Words

I went searching for peace

but it left me in pieces

shreds, shards, slivers

like it was a tickle in my liver

and my heart started to quiver

I know I want to be a cheerful giver

living my best life as

upfront, fun and audacious

in my mind so spacious

and with nature so gracious

but I shed tears

I live in fear

and as the sun shines

I stare

directly into it

it's no blitz, no grit and no stitch

I twitch on this journey

and can't switch off the sounds

of the flowers swaying

because no one listens to what I'm saying

and you know I'm not playing

but yet I am playing with words

© Linette Rabsatt