panting while I stand still
it's like I'm haunted
or maybe I'm hunted
I can hardly catch my breath
it's not like I'm close to death
but the breadth of my pressures
knock my wind out
and even though the pain
winds down
I whine constantly
I'm not a wine drinker
but I am an overthinker
classified as a sunk cost
described as a soul that's lost
and as my heart overbeats
and my breath cannot be controlled
my mind is swimming
while my hair keeps thinning
and breaking and shedding
like a feather plucking bird
in a destructive behavior
I am in constant upheaval
in a consistent erracticness
never without distraction
disagreement
and disgust
with no rescue diver
no designated driver
and no CPR giver
I pant
as I
stand still
© Linette Rabsatt 2023
it's like I'm haunted
or maybe I'm hunted
I can hardly catch my breath
it's not like I'm close to death
but the breadth of my pressures
knock my wind out
and even though the pain
winds down
I whine constantly
I'm not a wine drinker
but I am an overthinker
classified as a sunk cost
described as a soul that's lost
and as my heart overbeats
and my breath cannot be controlled
my mind is swimming
while my hair keeps thinning
and breaking and shedding
like a feather plucking bird
in a destructive behavior
I am in constant upheaval
in a consistent erracticness
never without distraction
disagreement
and disgust
with no rescue diver
no designated driver
and no CPR giver
I pant
as I
stand still
© Linette Rabsatt 2023
6 comments:
Loving the vibe and flow of this piece. The author has a true gift when it comes to the flow of her art. This one literally gives me goosebumps. Highly relatable.
I absolutely love the way this was crafted. So very relatable. Good work!
HI Knots. You have married the title of your piece to the rich content. Job well done!
Excellent…readers get the breathless feeling, while on the move with your words. Thank you.
Breathe in deep, then hold your breath,
Exhale out the gloom and bright clarity shall be all that is left😇🙏🏿...
In a whirlwind of emotions and vivid imagery, your poem conveys the struggle of feeling haunted by inner turmoil while seemingly standing still in life. The juxtaposition of panting while standing still captures the tension between the emotional and physical realms. The repetition of "I pant as I stand still" emphasizes the suffocating feeling of being caught in a cycle of unease. The poem vividly portrays the internal struggle, and the metaphor of shedding feathers adds to the sense of vulnerability. The closing lines reflect a sense of isolation and yearning for something to pull you from the turmoil. Overall, the poem effectively conveys a complex emotional landscape.
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