Advice I Needed to Hear When I was Young

In the past few days, I had to speak to several young persons concerning jobs and life in general. I knew one from when he was younger, and I have never met the other. Both persons thanked me for sharing some unsolicited advice with them. As I reflect, I remember getting random advice and good counsel when I was their age, but that was when I had messed up or was about to.

As you may have figured out, I am always chatting with Dr. Dierdra Wheatley-Peters, and we have been throwing around ideas on how we can encourage our youth in the community. When we messaged each other today, I shared that I wanted to write something along these lines because I wish someone had advised me differently. Some persons have written about what they would say to their younger selves, but I wanted to share my perspective. My story is not very unique, neither is it typical. I am grateful for every experience because I have grown tremendously.

To my younger self:

1. Think Career over Job
When I was sixteen (16), I was confident that I would be an accountant. After one (1) semester at the University of the Virgin Islands, I changed my major. I earned exceptional grades in high school in accounting. However, I realize that I just like mathematics and accounts for the challenge of finding the answer or balancing. I switched my major to marketing because it seemed fun, and I loved being creative.

Therefore, I would tell any young person to sit and speak with persons in their field of interest. Research locally, regionally, and internationally about the opportunities and what the work entails. Request an unpaid internship to get the experience. Today, I am advising my children to pursue what they love. We have to start getting work experience somewhere, but you must keep your career goal in mind. Also, if you change your mind about your career path, it is okay. I've gone from accounting to marketing, but I am a human resources professional and writer (after struggling with English classes).

2. Put Romantic Relationships on Pause
I did get this advice because adults would tell me not to get pregnant. Instead, I think they needed to inspire me to love myself and not to get emotionally attached. I needed to hear that a man did not define me. Someone needed to tell me that I should put my love into building me.

At that time, I needed to hone my craft and become the exceptional me. I agreed with Teddy Pendergrass when he sang, "So good, good lovin' somebody and somebody loves you back." However, at that age, I needed to love myself and improve my wellbeing.

3. Embrace Your Brand
I tried to follow trends to feel a part of something or to belong. Anyone who knows me today knows that I set my trends. The bracelets I wear, as I typed this, were made by my daughter. I upcycled a broken watch into a bracelet with colored pebbles. Back then, I would have wanted to fit in. I changed my hair and damaged it to please people. I encourage young people today: be your beautiful self and set trends. Build your brand and be confident with it.

4. Do More Volunteering
The old people used to say, "had a been know never come in front." It was only recently that the BVI mandated that all graduating high school seniors complete 120 hours of community service. When I first went to UVI in 1995, my sisters were in the process of completing their community service hours as a graduating requirement. I wished that I had that experience.

The benefits of volunteering include job experience and access to references who can attest to your work ethic. You also have the fulfillment of doing something meaningful. Some parents were opposed to the community service requirement in the BVI; however, the benefits far outweigh any disadvantages. We may claim that performing the hours is time-consuming, but it is time well spent. It also opens job opportunities.

5. Stand Up and Take Action
As a child, I was an extrovert. After going to high school, I pulled into a shell. Even today, I am the quiet voice in a crowded room. I would tell my younger self to voice opinions and take more risks. Somehow we become shy and reactive. I do not know if it is the harsh criticism we often give each other. It could be adults or persons in seniority disregard the opinions of the young people, inexperienced or subordinate. Sometimes our best innovations come from a novice.

So I would tell any young person today to share your ideas and your talents. Please be respectful but do not bottle up your inspiration. We allow children to showcase their amazing imaginations in primary school. So what happens when we become adults? We let people influence us to hide our imaginations and conform to the norms. Continue to dream! Do articulate your ideas to persons who will appreciate your viewpoint and who can implement your suggestions.

6. "Not Every Skin Teeth is a Smile"
I am sure every Caribbean island has a version of this colloquialism. Per The Virgin Islands Dictionary, 'skin teet' means "to smile widely and often." The saying tells us to be mindful of persons who may seem pleasant. They may have bad intentions. You would not expect anything negative because the person will seem genuine.

I was told this but never understood until I started working. I watched one of my appointment letters circulate in an office by persons who warmly greeted me on my first day. I would not have expected that from seasoned professionals. I have learned well, and I would never do that to another person.

Reflection
I shared the top six (6) things that I wish someone had shared with me when I was younger. Do you agree? What would you add or subtract? Will you advise young people within your reach to consider similar to what I have shared?

One hymn line that has stuck with me is "it only takes a spark to get the fire going." Let's ignite a fire of passion, confidence, and critical thinking in our youth. Each adult has something that they can share to encourage some young person. Please be mindful of your approach and do not overdo it or bombard the person. Share your story so that your listeners can understand the context. Go out and inspire a young person today.

Ribbon

Birthday Inspiration: Seven Insights I Have Gained as I Have Grown

I have not had a hard life. I have faced struggles; however, I was never hungry, homeless, or abused. I have made many mistakes. I have overthought, reacted too quickly, and upset people that I love. I have said things that I should not have said. I have also ignored issues or danced around them. I know I am not perfect, and I never strive to be. I aim to do my best, and I encourage others to excel. I have garnered many lessons along this journey, some of which I may have shared in this blog before.

This blog has helped me in several ways. I have improved my writing, expanded my poetry portfolio, and shared ideas. I wrote this post today on my birthday because I wanted to share some insights that I have gained. I welcome your responses and ideas.

1. Sometimes, a hasty response is the right one. I know that we often react quickly and in anger. That quick reaction may have been what was needed! I'll caution you to read over a message before sending or think through a verbal response before speaking.
2. If you are in customer service, respond to your customers! We also need timely responses that answer our questions and offer viable suggestions.
3. Do encourage your children to dream, participate and shine in all they do. Foster their interests into entrepreneurial pursuits and let them perform community service - even more than their school requires. Also, inspire them to widen their scope and expertise by encouraging them to participate in competitions in their areas of interest.
4. If you do your children's schoolwork, stop it. You are setting your children up for failure. Guide them, proofread, show examples and work with them step by step. Please do not do their work for them,
5. Make a connection with your supervisor or manager. I am not saying to 'kiss up' or get romantically involved with your manager. Instead, ensure that you understand the expectations and you clarify yours. As I got older, I realized the importance of keeping the communication lines open with my managers. You do not have to share your private affairs. However, you need to let your manager know if something is happening that will affect your performance.
6. COVID-19 has taught us that we are not immune to change and we must adapt. In February 2021, I was in denial about mask-wearing and school closures in the Caribbean. However, this pandemic has affected us greatly as we have lost loved ones. Therefore, we must adapt our culture and behaviors to survive and live. Follow the protocols to reduce the spread of COVID-19.
7. Your growth and success depend on you! Many people wait for their families, teachers, the government, their managers, or religious leaders to help them to chart their future. These persons can guide, teach, coach, and mentor you, but you are responsible for your outcome. You have to put in the work to enjoy success. Get up and get started today!

I like to think of life as a journey with pitstops, pitfalls, and potholes. Every experience, good or bad, is a learning one. We all face struggles and challenges; however, our responses and coping ability get us through the problems. If you find that you cannot cope, please get help from your pastor, a trusted friend, or a counselor.

Engage in positive conversations and keep in touch with persons who are going to encourage your growth! Remember to recognize your struggles and work within and around them. Congratulate yourself for small wins! Laugh, dance, sing, and love!

Ribbon

When Change is Inefficient

I have spent most of this week frustrated - not because of COVID-19, any illnesses, financial challenges, or school reopening. Instead, my frustration stems from broken systems. I understand and support change and will continue to encourage adaptability and transformation. However, systems fail when we do not evaluate our progress or pay attention to data or complaints.

No process or system should become so frustrating to make someone want to change their career, venue, or address. So what are we doing wrong? We are complicating things that should be simple. We communicate vaguely and without certainty and confidence. Also, while our ideas are often excellent, we do not take time to determine what the real issues are. We love to bandage and over-treat minor cuts; while we stuff an open wound with cotton!

So, what do we need to do differently? First, we need to listen to the stakeholders - the persons involved in the processes. They are the ones who have to deal with the new forms, amended processes, or abstract decisions. Secondly, we need to determine what the problems are. Is it the people, the process, the resources, the shifting culture, technology, or something else?

After determining the problem(s), then it is time to determine the direction. What works in other similar areas, and how can we tweak it to suit our culture? Of course, we have to get buy-in from our people, which means having discussions and data collection to get feedback. Remember, we want and need feedback, not just people's buy-in.

We have continuously made the mistake of relying on someone's fleeting dream to lead our development and transformation. It is no longer acceptable as we have a generation to prepare for whose needs are different.

Once something is implemented, we cannot forget to step back and evaluate what has happened. How are people being affected by this change? Has there been any improvement? I spend a lot of time griping about things that could be smoother, more organized, and more efficient. The only power I have is my ability to complain. I do not like to call it complaining; instead, I offer feedback and suggestions.

No change aimed for the better should cause hysteria, frustration, or a blow to morale. We have to recognize when something is not working and be willing and ready to revamp. As we tweak, we must keep the stakeholders updated.

Of course, when we do not listen to the stakeholders, we see the effects of brain drain in the jurisdiction, high turnover in organizations or industries, decrease in GDP, increased crime and mental health issues, etc.

As Andy Stanley has stated, "Leaders who don't listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing helpful to say."

I will continue to be an active stakeholder and share my concerns and suggestions.

POEM: You are Valuable

In life

sometimes we are treated

like a crutch or a crotch

and while we may want

to retaliate or reciprocate

maybe it's a matter of fate

and having faith

letting things flow

letting things go

so we can be move on

move out

move around

move south

wherever there is peace

and piece of mind

because time is

wasted

when waste is debated

you are not a backup plan

or a last minute meal

like a can of Spam

or like an email full of spam

you are someone special

not a crutch

and certainly not a crotch

your efforts

your time

your caring

your sincerity

are valuable

so stand out

stand up

make the best choices

for you

and let no one

bridle your voice

insult your style

 or waste your talent

so take flight

fight

and be great

© Linette Rabsatt

POEM: I Envision

I want to sit as a perfect rose

unblemished with no holes

I wish to be a like a turtle dove

free, respected and full of love

I hope to be like a river

flowing, running but can cause shivers

I dream of being a cloud

unbounded and without sound

I perceive being a precious jewel

cherished, valued and secluded

I see myself as an idea

unique, creative and full of flair

I envision myself as seed

growing, nurturing and able to feed

I want

I wish

I hope

I dream

I perceive

I see

I envision

I have a vision

I see me

an idea, an article

a child, an ancestor

an orator, a nurturer

a vision

a visionary

ready to share

ready to serve

© Linette Rabsatt

My Thoughts on COVID-19 in the BVI in July 2021

I wrote my first blog post about the COVID-19 pandemic in the BVI in March 2020. As I write today, things have definitely changed in our small territory. We have had a significant rise in cases over the past few weeks, and families have lost loved ones.

The government increased its efforts to suppress the spread of this deadly virus through curfew, contact tracing, stay-at-home orders, vaccination, etc. However, many people remain skeptical about vaccines, doctors, and COVID-19. Many have shared articles and videos which discredit the work of our health team. Some share misinformation through airwaves and social media. We also have confusion within religious sects about the true nature of the disease and concerns about taking COVID-19 vaccines.

People are also debating about natural remedies, which I also use. However, I strongly encourage persons to consult with their doctors about bush medicine if they use prescription medication. Bush medicine used incorrectly, such as using too many leaves or boiling instead of steeping, could have an adverse reaction based on your medical condition or medication.

I am an advocate for vaccines because statistics reflect that they reduce hospitalizations and death. However, I am concerned about living costs and the weak national health insurance system and healthcare structure. Many people cannot afford healthcare. The factors I have shared have contributed to a situation where we are losing loved ones, and many others struggle to stay alive.

What is not working?

• sharing pictures of persons' loved ones without confirmation
• arguing about vaccination
• bullying others to believe in your views
• not reading credible information
• not listening to our medical professionals
• not wearing your masks
• discrediting the work of the healthcare professionals
• not sanitizing
• being impatient with dealing with the protocols to prevent the spread of COVID-19
• not adhering to curfew
• waiting too long to get help when sick
• being disrespectful to healthcare workers or contact tracers

What is working?

• getting vaccinated
• prayer
• being understanding to families who are worried or grieving
• checking in with family and friends
• respecting the health care team
• proactive lifestyle changes, including exercise
• listening to our medical professionals
• getting advice from your doctor on whether to get vaccinated
• infusing natural remedies after consulting with your doctor

Over these past few days, I have felt broken as I hear about persons who have passed on. I can only imagine what their families are feeling. I have been close to tears several times over the past few days, even though I do not know everyone who passed. Knowing that someone lost a beloved family member is enough to tear at my heart.

I hope that people would wise up and think carefully about their options right now. COVID-19 vaccines are not mandatory. Some people have medical concerns, and I encourage them to speak to their doctors. If someone chooses not to be vaccinated, we must respect their decision. In turn, they must respect vaccinated persons' right to choose as well. Further, we all must adhere to the protocols given by the government.

Employers are making decisions that persons in the community do not support; however, every employer has to safeguard both employees and their customers. As we navigate the parameters of workplaces mandating vaccination, we must first consider the health and safety of every person who enters that establishment. Employers also have to consider how they organize workspaces, limit customer interactions and enable remote capabilities, where possible.

Everyone's focus right now should be prayer, eating well, exercise, enjoying hobbies, and sharing love and encouragement with others. We also must respect each other and be our brothers' keepers.

POEM: Point of Clarity

we often say it's obvious

when others are oblivious
when it's surely conspicuous
Isn't it ridiculous when we miss the point
or maybe I need to ask the Lord to anoint
my head with wisdom
so my cup can overflow
but some will still never know
or even go the extra length
to figure anything out
yet we run our mouths
and spread incorrect information
most often defamation
which ends up in litigation
maybe they just need some libation
and some hibernation
so we don't have to be in consternation
or constipation
instead let us use our inclination
to find the point of clarity

© Linette Rabsatt